There is no other way to break the news except come out and say it.

The new iPhone Duo is an ugly thing.

The first foldable iPhone by Apple, called the iPhone Duo, was unveiled during Apple’s annual September product event, an event titled Surprise and Shine. Sounds like a Kendall Jenner vocal stim.

Videos have been circulating the newsfeeds of the audience’s oohs and aahs when the phone appeared on the big screen after Apple CEO John Ternus’ “one more thing” moment. I was, and remain to be, genuinely confused as to why people are excited by this news.

Wow, the new iPhone, look, it can fold!

You know what else can fold? A book. And this is not a hot take, but a book doesn’t have ads or short-wavelength blue light that suppresses or delays melatonin.

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I’m not about to go into an analogue rant here and mourn the loss of the physical, the tangible, the texture in our lives. I’m not a fan of nostalgia and I do think there are plenty of benefits to technology and the digital era.

However, I have to emphasise, what in the emperor’s clothing is going on here?

I’ll say it again, the iPhone Duo is not an attractive looking thing, nor do I understand how it will enhance our experience of the world. It’s trying so hard to look like a book that it’s embarrassing. Just be yourself, an addictive piece of tech that’s slowly sucking the joy out of almost everything.

Yes, I know, that reeks of bitterness, but I don’t mean it to.

There was a time where I was looking forward to every new iPhone update, eager to get my hands on the new phone with the better camera, sleeker design, more storage, more power. I genuinely believed that I would be able to create faster, better content with every new iPhone. And yes, I have indeed, over the years, surpassed my own expectations with what I can do with this technology that is now the overlord and centre of our lives.

But I, and I believe a lot of people, have had enough at this point. We have reached the peak of what a smartphone is and what it can do for us, so much so, that it no longer feels like a technology that’s improving our lives but mutating it.

As I’ve mentioned twice at this point (and will surely mention it a few more times before the end of this essay), the iPhone Duo is ugly.

Somewhere between and a smartphone and an iPad, it looks awkward to hold with one hand. The soft edged minimal design, the futuristic elegance that initially drew us all to Apples phones, has become bulky, feels uncoordinated and is just a pale echo of wonderfully analogue objects - a magazine, a book, an alarm clock, a television screen.

I’ve written about the war against beauty (see below) and this is really another affront to anyone who wants to be surrounded by objects that have true aesthetic value.

Its more mechanical than seamless, bold and bulky without being vibrant or formidable, the iPhone Duo is another lyric to the anthem of weaponising individuality to create uniformity. And that is truly the ugliest thing. Ugly with no charm.

But perhaps beauty shouldn’t be a consideration when it comes to updating a piece of essential technology. This is a new concept, an exciting path forward for the iPhone - it folds!

But hang on, the foldable phone is not a unique concept. Seven years ago, Samsung released the Galaxy Fold. Which in of itself is not that impressive.

Since its release there have been hundreds of complaints about the crease that develops on the screen, issues with the hingers, and general durability. There’s also something about their design, which I also noted on the iPhone Duo, that isn’t as sleek as a single screen. Nor does the foldable phone have the flip to close satisfaction of the iconic flip-phone era of the early to mid-2000s. They look and feel badly designed and obnoxious.

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One can argue that Apple is not Samsung. That any potential issues with a foldable screen have been ironed out in the iPhone Duo. Except for the irony that the iPhone Duo’s folding OLED screen is made by Samsung Display. Reportedly, Apple is paying Samsung Display around $250 for every folding panel used in the iPhone Duo.

So, what exactly makes the iPhone Duo a better phone?

In his speech, Ternus said the iPhone Duo is:

“The most transformational change to iPhone since the original. With an entirely new design and intuitive experiences, it shows what’s possible when hardware and software are engineered together and redefines what it means to use a foldable phone.”

You know what would be a transformational change to an iPhone? A durable charging cable for your phone. Not sure why Apple hasn’t worked on that.

I’m not anti-Apple. I’m not anti-tech. I believe in technology evolution, not gimmicks that reduce the quality of our lives. And here’s the issue. The iPhone Duo feels gimmicky.

I get it. This is consumer capitalism at its peak, we have arrived and are very much navigating through the simulation. Most of us have been brainwashed to be excited by the newest, latest, shiniest blah, blah, blah.

But can we please use our critical thinking skills for a moment?

Here are some verbatim points about the iPhone Duo from Apple’s website:

“Pin a video to the top and watch it while using another app.”

Perhaps I’m not evolving as a human should be, but what is the benefit of this? A version of this already exists – having a YouTube video playing on your screen while checking your messages – I wonder how many people find this helpful or distracting.

“Set iPhone Duo down and watch a show or follow a workout.”

The world won’t be satisfied until we are full living in a phone. We are already tethered to these things emotionally, spiritually, and it would be ideal for tech companies for us to physically migrate ourselves into the screen so they can have us by the balls.

We should be discouraging people from watching films and reading books on their phones. Aside from completely defiling the experience of story through that small glossy blue light screen, it simply cannot be healthy at any capacity.

“A spacious display for incredibly immersive entertainment. You can even use two apps side by side with Split View multitasking.”

The fact that we now have two screens means we will double our doom scrolling and will make it harder to get off the phone.

I have written extensively that we are at war with distraction, a battle that is taking us away from art and beauty. For me and many other people, we don’t want to be immersed any more than we already are in the digital world. Somehow Apple got a sense of this and decided, “nope not on our watch! Hear something more addictive and more immersive.”

The price is insanity – $1,999 with 256 gigabytes of storage, ranging up to $3,199?

From the split-screen multitasking to fold-aware iOS and the dual-battery architecture as well as the duo preview and crease-minimising display technology – to name a few of the iPhone Duo’s new features – what are we paying for exactly?

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The iPhone Duo’s new features largely exist to enable, accommodate or exploit the fact that the phone bends in half.

Aside from that it will be delicate. It only has two lenses. How do you put a screen protector on it? How do you put a phone case on it? A two-piece case? Apple care won’t be cheap. It’s an iPad mini… just buy an iPad mini? OK apparently the camera zoom only goes to 2x. iPhone 17 and 18 pro phones go up to 8x. The on-screen camera is mainly for face time. Battery will drain quickly.

Oh and, it’s truly ugly.

Now, if this is something you want, then go for it, go get it. This is not about whether one should buy an iPhone Duo or not – it’s about what the existence of this piece of tech says about where we are in the culture.

All smartphones at this point work well enough or excellently to do what they were designed to do. So, at what point are upgrades for upgrades sake enough? How does the iPhone Duo help our experience for what we need in a phone?

Most fiction author will tell you it’s important to have something that moves the plot forward in a story. Let’s use that analogy what does the iPhone Duo do to “help the plot move forward” for how we communicate and interact with each other?

I can tell you right now – absolutely nothing. It’s another step forward toward making our lives more miserable in the long run, a misery disguised in entertainment.

Last month, Meta agreed to a $17.1 billion settlement with nearly all US states over allegations that Facebook and Instagram were designed with addictive features that harmed young users. Manufacturers of the technology, the screens we experience those platforms through largely haven’t been sued in this way. Not yet.

Again, this is not about telling you what you should or shouldn’t buy. If you want to spend the money on the new iPhone Duo you can. My point is, be clear with yourself. You don’t need it and you don’t need to keep up with what the world tells you is necessary for you to own.

Smartphones and the internet have done incredible things for society and humanity. But sometimes the incredible can become destructive on a personal and global level.

My question is this, at what point will we realize that we are going too far towards nowhere. And also, why does it be so ugly?

Sorry, but The iPhone Duo is Ugly